Things that go Snap in the Night

There is a dead mouse in my kitchen. This doesn't seem like the best way to start a week. If I have one complaint about my "new" house (aside from the really ugly bathroom upstairs) it is that there are mice in my kitchen. I love old houses and one of the facts of living in an old house is there are mice in the basement. This is a fundamental truth like the sun rises in the east. I can live with it, mostly because I have no choice. I have always lived in old houses with mice in the basement.

BUT mice actually in my living quarters are another thing all together. I hates them, precious. I will spend hours pulling out appliances and crawling through cabinets to find where the security breech has occured. The problem in this case is I can't find it. So my only remaining choice is to leave traps set to catch the little (insert bad language here).

Now after an early catch of three mice in the fall, the upstairs traps have been quiet. There have been no mice in the kitchen. I had become complacent. Tonight however, a particularly bold and daring mouse decided to scamper across the floor while T. was making a sandwich. T. was altogether unimpressed. So then came the rebaiting of the traps as the cheese had become inedible, even I suspect for mice. The new cheese, a particularly tasty little bit of cheedar, proved irrestitable to that mouse only moments ago.

I guess perhaps having a dead mouse in the kitchen isn't such a bad thing after all. It is much perferable to the alternative of a live one.

One Mistake

I only made one mistake today. That was getting out of bed this morning. The litney of things that have gone wrong today is astounding. I don't even want to count it all but out of fairness here is the cliff notes version. The car - dead, the computer - dead, propane - empty (that means no stove, no hot water...wheee), a client's computer problem I cannot solve....
I really just want to sit here alone in my messy (because I didn't get any cleaning done today amougst all the things going wrong) house and feel sorry for myself. I don't think I will go on, lest I become truly morose.
Goodnight

The worst day of the year

January 11th is almost past for 2007, like the last 29 years worth of January 11ths before it. The strange thing is while they are all the same in thier "badness", I am not always the same. I have thought about what today is all day, but surprisingly this year it didn't overwhelm me. I don't know that I have every really set in writing the January 11th that started it all.

On January 11, 1978 I was seven years old. I woke up, crawled out of bed, got ready for school, said goodbye to my parents, got on the school bus and went to school. I hadn't been there too long, and Dad came to pick me up. I remember that he had already cleared my leaving with the principle and as we walked down the covered sidewalk leading from my second grade classroom to the parking lot he told me; my Mom had gone to heaven.

I didn't think she would really die. I remember one evening, standing by my dad's desk and he told me that she wouldn't get well, that she would die. I know he told me, I was playing with the pens in the white and black square holder, I was standing in a safe little corner between his desk and the wall. I don't know why I didn't understand, or maybe I do. Seven year olds don't have much concept of dying.

What I don't remember is crying. We got into "Mom's" car, a blue 1969 two door Buick Skylark and we drove out of the parking lot and turned right - going left is the shorter way home. All I remember about that drive home is that I asked Dad if he had called the family in Iowa, and he said he had. I don't know why that comforted me. Maybe then I cried, but I don't know.

She was still there, at home, in the bed when we got home. I don't remember that either but I know she was. There were other people there too, but I do not know who, maybe Grandma. I sat on the top step, away from the people downstairs and felt very alone. I wanted badly for it to be 3:00 so my cousins would come when they got home from school, I guess that means my Aunt Phyl was there. I know that at some point the undertaker came to take Mom away, I know that I didn't want to see that. We had an old fashioned cookstove in the basement - behind it was a dark place, that is where I hid when they took her away. My little cousin Keith came later, he was only four I tried to explain to him why this was so horrible. I said to him, my kids will never get to know their Grandma. As I look back this strikes me as a truly strange thing for my seven-year old self to be preoccupied with, but I was. Maybe it was easier to disassociate from the whole reality that way. Needless to say, my four-year old cousin didn't "get it".

For a day that changed the whole course of my life, it feels like I remember surprisingly little. Finally Kristi came, but I don't know what we talked about. Night came, there were people there, but that is all I know...I don't remember crying then, but I cried today.

Mom, July 28, 1940 - January 11, 1978. Too short by any standard.

It would seem that the only time of the year that I can be counted on to faithfully post to this blog is New Years. So in the interest of consistancy let me review the goals I set in 2006 and embark on another year's resolutions.

I won't go so far as to say that 2006 was a wonderful year, it wasn't particularly. But looking back at the resolutions that I set out to accomplish last year it was exceptional. Now I can't ever remember ever actually accomplishing my resolutions in the past, but I was able to do that in 2006. Bully for me.
#1: Grow ONYX's business. When I wrote that this blog was for my eyes only. So I am not going to elaborate. But we have had a good year.
#2: Buy a house. Check. Signed the paperwork on April 12. There is some of the journey recorded in previous posts.
#3: Get in Shape. I won't go all the way to saying I am in shape, but I can wear that little black dress. Nor can I really take credit for it as I have discovered the hard way, stress is a diet you don't really want to be on.

But enough with the past already. What kinds of things do I see in the future. Well honestly, my future is awfully murky and has some possibly really dark parts that I might have to live through. This isn't the place for that kind of deep analysis and the time may not be right for me to attempt that kind of introspection anyway.

Goals should be achievable and measurable so here goes...Oh and my other rule is no more than three, don't want to improve too much...
#1 Organization: That of course is a big, huge, monster. So to make it doable and measurable I will break it into monthly parts. AND I will discuss that plan in the next post.
#2 Fitness: I did loose weight (yeah! me) in 2006, now I want to do more. It is always said a little success is the best motivation. So my goal will be to exercise three mornings a week. I am allowing myself maximum flexibility as I try to develop this new habit. So I am not laying out a specific regimen. I will measure this one with smiley faces on Joe's Goals.
#3 Writing: I don't think I am ready yet to write the book that I have always dreamed of writing. Every year it comes a bit more into focus. However, I feel that I need to get in the habit of writing and expression. So my last resolution comes in the form of this blog. I will post here at least once per week. See there was a good reason for procrastinating my organization plan to a later post.

Until next time...